Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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