What a fucking waste of an outfit
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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