He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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