his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
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