i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
