believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
