They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
