marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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