somebody snuck up and got me drunk
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
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