16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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