At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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