Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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