You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I just gargled with NyQuil
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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