just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
