We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
as a side note pls kill me
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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