All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Randomize
