So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
We left the knife in your bed.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize
