Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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