I'm jealous of your bromance
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
