he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
