im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
