I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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