..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
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