Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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