don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Drunk is not a location!
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
