He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
