just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize