This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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