Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
