Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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