youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
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