He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
