Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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