wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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