For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
