Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
