There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize