Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
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