I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
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