Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Your penis caused this!
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