went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
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