Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
There are leaves in my underwear?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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