Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
