i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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