go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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