NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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