bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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