i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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