Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
His nipple licking is glorious
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