It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
