Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Even the bartender felt bad for me
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize