He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I lost the right to judge tonight
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize