Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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