I'm so fucking centered right now
what day is it and did you see me today?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
