Grow some girl-balls and come out already
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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