I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize
