He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Text me some of your sweat
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
