i just wanna soil my oats bro
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
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