I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
