so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
