good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
