Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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