i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize