i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
