Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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